A Farmer's Life
by lonelylitoboy
Summary: Jack moves to Forget-me-not Valley to begin his new life. Please read and reveiw.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or its characters.

**Chapter 1: Arrival, Spring**

(Author's note: the characters' personalities might be more different, ex: Nami being an ice queen, Muffy being a whore. Also, I might add in Karen, Elli, and Ann later on, maybe.)

Takakura-"Get up, Jack!"

Jack- ? "What the fu-"

Takakura- "If you dare curse, I'll kick your little ass!"

Jack- "You just cursed! How could you, bit-"

Takakura- takes out a pick ax "Don't make me use this…"

Jack- "To farm for me?"

Takakura- "Naw, maybe, now let's go I'll show you around this place."

*Inner Inn*

Takakura- "This is Tim, Ruby, and Rock."

Jack- "Do you have food?"

Takakura- "Say hi…"

Jack- ^o^ "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

Tim- "That's good enough."

Ruby- "There is also a girl who lives in one of our rooms, her name is Nami."

Rock- "She is pretty and all, but is also a cold, heartless bitch-"

The door suddenly swings open and out comes a girl with short, red hair.

Nami- "What did you say about me?" makes a fist and holds it up to Rock's head.

Rock- 0o0 "Nothing…"

Nami- "Better not have, who are you?"

Jack- "I'm-I'm Jack."

Nami- "Oh, see ya" walks off.

Rock- "What a bit-"

Nami- "I can hear you, Rock!"

Rock- "No!" runs off.

*Blue Bar*

Takakura- "This is Griffin and Muffy."

Griffin- sighs "Hi, I gotta go." Walks into the bar.

Muffy- "Hi, sexy."

Jack- U^_^ "H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hi."

Muffy- "Do you stutter?"

Jack- "No."

Muffy- "Oh, wanna have some fun tonight?"

Jack- "No thanks, I-I-I-I-I-I-I'll see you much later!"

Muffy- "Okay, see you soon!"

Takakura- ?

*Vesta's Farm*

Celia- "Almost got it…"

Marlin- "Get down from there!"

Vesta- "She's gonna fall if you keep yelling!"

Celia- "Ah!"

Vesta/Marlin- "Celia!"

Takakura- "You okay, Jack?"

Jack- @_@ "Sure…."

Celia- "I'm so sorry, what was it, Jack…"

Jack- "No problem…."

Marlin- "Don't ever do that again, Celia, you could've gotten seriously hurt!"

Vesta- "Stop yelling at her, Marlin!"

Marlin-?

Celia-?

Jack- "My…back- huh?" o_0

Takakura- "We should leave now…"

*Farm*

Takakura- "You have a cow, some tools in the tool shed and two tomato seeds in the tool shed. Go to sleep and we'll start work tomorrow."

Jack- "Okay, man, I like- hey what? I thought you were buying something to eat!"

Takakura- "Are you high?"

Jack- "Of course, why not? It's so boring!"

Takakura- sighs "Just go to bed and I'll wake you tomorrow."

How'd you like it? Is it bad? If you like it or hate it, please review! Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or its characters.

Thanks to all who reviewed, here's chapter 2.

**Chapter 2: Spring, Farming**

Takakura- "Jack, wake up, little man!"

Jack- -_u "I'm so fucking sleepy, can I have 1 more minute?"

Takakura- "Hey, there are two stray dogs."

Jack- 0_0 "Dogs, I'm-I'm-"

Takakura- "Scared of them?"

Jack- "No, you dumbass!"

Takakura- "Then what's with the look on your face?"

Jack- "You mean this?" 0_0

Takakura- "Yeah…"

Jack- "I was bored, so I pick the floppy eared one."

Takakura- "I'll give the other one to someone else…Oh; you should start working on the farm."

*Fertile Land*

Jack- "This fucking hoe is so fucking heavy!" digs his first hole. "Finally…"

Celia- "Hi, Jack, is you back okay?"

Jack- "Yeah-"

Marlin- "Celia, let's go back to the farm."

Celia- sighs "Okay, bye Jack."

Marlin- mutters "Lucky ass bitch, he gets Celia."

Jack- "Did you say something?"

Marlin- "No, now let's go Celia."

Celia- "Bye Jack!"

Jack- "I need something to drink… I'll go to the bar!" remembers Muffy "Hopefully, that little bitch isn't there, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-"

Takakura- "What are you thinking about, Jack?"

Jack- "I was thinking of going to the bar, then I remembered that hoe, Muffy, and was thinking about something else, when you disturbed my train of thought. Wow, I used a lot of big words…"

Takakura- U^_^ "Okay…. Let's go to the bar!"

*Blue Bar*

Griffin- sighs "What would you-" falls to the ground, sleeping

Muffy- comes out of her room, starts to feel on Jack "Hello, sexy…"

Jack- "Stop saying that!"

Takakura- doesn't notice, drinks

Nami- comes in, walks over Griffin's sleeping body, steals a drink and some more "Hi, Jack…what the fuck are you doing to him Muffy?"

Jack- crying, shivering in fear

Muffy- "I was just trying to get him in the mood-"

Takakura- sips his drink and his face falls on the counter

Nami- ? "What the fuck?"

Muffy- "Sleeping pills really work."

Nami- goes to Muffy's room, comes back out with a bottle of water "Drink this…"

Muffy- drinks water and falls asleep

Nami- walks out of bar

~later~

Jack- sees Muffy on him, gets up, grabs Takakura and runs out

*Road*

Jack- "Okay, Muffy is defiantly a slutty whore…"

Takakura- "So I guess that leaves Celia and Nami."

Jack- ?-? "What!?"

Takakura- "You can marry one of the girls."

Jack- "I want to die single!"

Takakura- "Sure you do…let's go back to the farm."

Jack- "Hey, who's that guy?"

Dr. Hardy- turns around

Jack- O_O "His-his-his-his eye is machiney…"

Daryl- pops out of nowhere "Machiney is not a word!"

Jack- -_- "What a nerd…anyway, Ah! That guy has a machine for an eye!"

Dr. Hardy- "Wanna know how I lost it?"

Jack- stops screaming "Sure, why not?"

Dr. Hardy- "Back in the old days, I accidently used this strange sickle and cut out my left eye…"

Jack- thinks of his sickle, shudders and runs of to farm

Dr. Hardy- ;_;

Takakura- walks to farm

*Farm*

Takakura- "Good night, Jack, see you tomorrow."

Jack- "Okay man, see ya.

*Jack's house*

Jack- gets bored, looks at mirror, sees some guy with a cap "Hey, that guy kinda of looks like me…" looks around *o* "There's nobody here! It's a-"

Reflection- "Hi, I'm Jack, what the fuck? That guy looks like me! Oh, my gosh, I'm seeing things. 

Karen, Elli, Ann walk in, see reflection and scream. Suddenly everyone and the side with Jack, Karen, Elli, and Ann get sucked into the mirror and transferred to the Jack from AWL

Jack- "What just happened?"

Like the chapter? I know, it's a little messy, sorry. Please review whether you hate it or love it. Thanks to all of those who reviewed on the first chapter, please review again! ^_^


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or its characters.

Thanks to all who reviewed, here's chapter 3.

Sorry that I haven't reviewed in a while, I was really busy with homework and stuff. Now that it's summer, I can hopefully type more of this.

**Chapter 3: Summer, Strange Events**

It had been one whole season since Jack moved to Forget-me-not valley. He had made many new friends, even with Nami and Muffy. He now has 3 chickens, 4 cows, 2 sheep, and a whole field of great crops. Jack still hasn't solved the mystery of his alternate mirror image and the girls.

Jack (AWL Jack=Jack)

Jack (HM64 Jack=Jack)

Jack- "Hm, I wonder, if I were to shove you into the mirror, would you go away?"

Jack- v "Muhaha, I shall clone all mirrors and take over this stupid world!"

Karen- "Okay, now we really have to stay here, which really sucks since it's so small…."

Ann- "Like oh my gosh! There is some little midget thing wearing blue clothes walking around!"

Jack- OoO "Holy crap! That's nothing, yeah, nothing, I'm sure it's just your imagination!"

Jack- "Muhaha, I shall destroy you all with my blue cap! Muhaha-"

Bong

Elli- "Damn, that crazy ass mother fucker talked too much." (Looks around)

Everyone but Elli and Jack- (lips are closed)

Elli- "Why is everyone all scared?"

Jack- "Ow, my…head…"

Jack- "I got to go to town and get some stuff, don't leave this house!"

Karen- "Yeah, like we ever do…"

Ann- "Like oh my gosh, I see some chicken walking around outside!"

Elli- "Shut the fuck up, Ann!"

Ann- "Okay, just don't hit me!"

Vesta's Farm

Vesta- "Hi Jack, what would you like to buy today?"

Celia- comes running down stairs "Jack is here!?"

Marlin- mutters "Mother fucker, got Celia again…"

Jack- "What?"

Marlin- "Nothing, now go back to fucki- I mean planting your crops."

Jack- "I need to buy them first…"

Marlin- "Okay, now buy them and leave!"

Celia- "Marlin, why are you yelling at Jack?"  
Marlin- "Because, because he is a mother fuck-"

Vesta- "Marlin, don't say such things or else I'll whack you!"

Marlin- "Fine, but he is still a mother fuck-"

Vesta- "Shut up!"

Marlin- "Why are you on his side anyway Vesta, Celia? He is some complete stranger to us and yet you're still being nice to him."

Celia- "But Marlin-"

Jack- "It's okay, I'll leave but first-"

Marlin- "What do what you need and get the hell out of here!"

Jack- "I need fifty seeds of everything you've got and two of each tree seed. Finally I'll need five thousand bags of fertilizer."

Marlin- "I'll take them to your farm tonight, be ready to get them because this is the only and final time I'll do this."

Celia- "Jack…"

Outside

Celia- "Oh jack, I'll miss you!" hugs him then inside

Vesta- "Don't worry Jack, if you somehow plant and grow all you seeds, write a letter to Takaruka and we'll give him you order."  
Jack- "By the way, how much money to I owe you?"  
Vesta- calculates price 0v0U "It just cost a lot…"

Jack- "Oh man, I'll pay you back next year okay?"

Vesta- "Sure and if you don't we'll send Marlin over there to kick your lying ass…"

Jack- "I feel so much better…"

Ramona's Villa Outside

Lumina- "Hi Jack, how you doing?"

Jack- "Great, like my horse?"

Lumina- "Yeah, it looks really healthy…"

Jack- "Thanks, I just got it yesterday."

Lumina- "How is your farm?"

Jack- "It's doing alright I guess, but I sure wish someone would help me…Why don't you come over some time?"

Lumina- "Really, you mean it?"

Jack- "Uh, yeah, by the way is Ramona home?'

Lumina- "No she went for a walk around here; she shouldn't have gone too far."

Jack- "It's getting late, I should leave, see you later Lumina!" rides of on horse

Lumina- "Bye Jack, see you next time!"

The Farm

Marlin- "Here you are your last and final order of seeds and fertilizer."

Jack- "Thanks, Marlin-"

Marlin- "Whatever, I'm leaving…"

Jack's House

Jack- "Where have you been mister farmer?"

Jack- "Out buying seeds and stuff."

Karen- "Hey is there a bar around here?"

Jack- "Yeah, the blue bar, it's alright but there is this girl who flirts with me a lot."

Karen- "Aw, don't wanna play da big bad pimp?"

Elli- "Da pimp can not handle the girls so he runs away… that's pretty pitiful, Jack."

Jack/Jack- "Me?"

Ann- "Well she had to be talking to one of you…"

Elli- sweat drops "Obviously…"

Ann- "Hey, are you calling me a dumb ass?"

Elli- "Naw, I'm just calling you the person who is the opposite of smart."

Ann- "Oh, I see."

Karen- "Let's go to sleep already!"

Sorry that I haven't updated in a long time, been busy during school and I was kind of sick on the first week of vacation. This chapter isn't so good, if you ask me, not much comedy, oh well. Next chapter will probably be better, if you have any suggestions for later chapters tell me. Thanks in advance.


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